A Stones Throw 2-5-12


Hi. Shadow here.

Mike is still upset about the Super Bowl so I told him I would write A Stones Throw this week. Actually, I was surprised Mike even watched the game. He kept saying he wasn’t going to watch the New England ‘Cheaters’ – I think he meant Patriots – win another Super Bowl.

But then, last week I tried to explain that the whole “deflategate” thing that he was upset about could easily have been an honest mistake.

I don’t know if you remember, but nine years ago Mike had a “deflategate” of his own. He first noticed it one morning when he found air missing from the tires of his red pickup truck. At the time, Mike complained to Jade that he couldn’t drive the truck with all the air out of the tires.

I couldn’t understand his problem.

Sure, the tires didn’t have as much air as they had the night before, but they were only flat on the bottom. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t just drive on the part of the tire that still had air in it.

Mike not only was not willing to drive that way, but he was upset.

In fact, he was so upset, I didn’t have the heart to explain what had happened.

Actually it was all an accident.

I didn’t want Mike to leave me – ever. I noticed he would get in that red truck and drive out of the yard. I discovered that if I bit a small hole in the side of the tires they would lose just enough air to go flat on the bottom.

I thought that would keep Mike here with me.

It didn’t work that way.

Instead, Mike got in his car and left. I knew I had to do something, so when he came back, I took air out of a couple of his car tires.

But just enough to make the bottom of the tire flat.

When Mike started complaining about “deflategate” last week, I reminded him that sometimes people (and, I consider me to be a people.) will do something so they can be closer to someone they feel is special.

I wanted to be close to Mike. I didn’t want Mike to leave me.

I think the same thing happened with the New England Patriots.

The thing that got me started thinking about this was the fact that 11 of the Patriots footballs had 16 to 20 percent less air than needed. That is about how much air is missing when a tire is flat only on the bottom.

Add to this, when I was trying to keep Mike home with me, I took air out of 11 tires. I don’t think it is a coincidence that someone took air out of 11 footballs. It took 11 tires for Mike to understand I wanted him to stay with me.

It took 11 footballs to convince Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady that someone was willing to help him win. Besides, when two pounds of air was taken out of those footballs, they didn’t end up with a flat side.

So – no harm – no foul.

I almost had Mike convinced, but then last Friday the National Football League informed the Indianapolis Colts that one of the Patriot’s touchdowns was illegal. It should not have counted. Instead, the Patriot’s should have been penalized.

“Deflategate” and illegal plays.

Mike says that is New England football.

He also said, with that, he wouldn’t watch the Super Bowl.

That is when I convinced him that I wanted to watch the Super Bowl commercials and really wanted to watch with him. He agreed to watch with me.

I knew he would.

Last year, my favorite Super Bowl commercial was the one with “Bud” the puppy and the big horse name “Clyde.” When I explained this to Mike, he said he didn’t think the puppy had a name and that the horses were Clydesdales. He said the Clydesdales didn’t have names either.

I know Mike is wrong on this one.

Mike calls me “Shadow” (Probably because that is my name.), “Shad,” “Bud,” “Big Guy,” and “Big Boy.” If he is going to call me by five different names, there is no way the puppy on the commercial doesn’t have a name. And, since I keep seeing “Budweiser,” I think his real name is “Budweiser,” but he is probably called “Bud.”

The same goes with that big horse. I know he has a name. I think his name is “”Clyde.” When Mike says the horses are Clydesdales, I think he means the other horses are “Dales” that belong to “Clyde.”

But then, who knows?

I just know I liked last year’s commercial with Bud and Clyde and wanted to see if they were back this year.

They were.

This year’s commercial showed Bud getting in a truck and going for a ride. I understand this. My favorite time now is when I go for a ride in Mike’s truck. (If I had known how much fun riding in a truck is nine years ago, Mike would never have had his own “deflategate.”)

The difference between my truck rides and Bud’s truck ride is that I stay in the truck until we are back at home while Bud got out of the truck as soon as it stopped.

Bud got lost.

I started to worry about him when he was trying to find his way home. Just when he was almost home, a scary wolf came around a tree and bared his teeth and growled at him. It reminded me of when Thunder does that to me.

Fortunately, I have Mike to help me when Thunder decides to be mean. And, fortunately, Clyde heard the wolf (I don’t know his name.) threaten Bud.

Clyde kicked the door to his house open and along with three of his Dales, went to Bud’s rescue. When Clyde and his Dales showed up, the wolf left, and Bud headed home.

At the end of the commercial, I saw Bud’s people person looking out the window. He was really worried. Then he saw Budweiser, Clyde, and the Dales coming up the road.

A big smile broke out – the kind of smile Mike gets when I come in after being outside for a while. (I often spend time outside just so Mike will smile when I come back.)

At the end of the commercial, the people person is drinking a root beer (I think it was root beer – that is what Mike drinks.) while listening to Bud tell about his adventures while he was lost and while Clyde told about the rescue.

A dog, a man, and a horse – all friends.

It can’t get any better than that.

Mike doesn’t agree.

He says he doesn’t want a horse. He also says it would be a lot better if the Seahawks would have won the Super Bowl.

Okay – a dog, a man, (maybe) a horse, and a Super Bowl win by some birds (Sea Hawks are birds aren’t they?) would be great.

Mike, me, and a New England Patriots loss would have be perfect. I think Bud and Clyde would agree with me on that.

– Shadow