A Stones Throw 10-24-13


Hi, Shadow here.

I learned a new game last week. I’m not sure of all the rules. I didn’t even know it had a name until I heard Mike say I was playing “hide and seek.” In fact, before he said that, I didn’t know it was a game.

Let me explain.

Last week I overheard Jade and Kelly (Mike and Jade’s daughter) talking. Jade told Kelly that Mike was complaining about spiders. Apparently he doesn’t like Spiders.

I heard Kelly tell Jade to get some hedge apples. She said they are supposed to “take care of spiders.”

I have to admit this confused me. Why would Jade want to take care of spiders when Mike doesn’t like them? I understand why Jade wants to take care of me and the other dogs – even the cats – in the house. We are all part of the family.

But spiders?

I don’t have a problem with spiders, but if Mike doesn’t like them – I don’t like them. At least not enough to “take care” of them.

Anyway, the next thing I saw was Jade walking around in the yard picking up a bunch of the green balls that fall from the trees. When I asked what she was doing, she told me she was picking up hedge apples for the spiders.

That bothered me for a minute since I use those balls – I didn’t know they had a special name – for Mike to play fetch with me. I have to admit he doesn’t like it when those green tree balls are my fetch toy of choice. He thinks they get “slimy” after he throws one three or four times.

At least he doesn’t have to taste them like I do.

Anyway, back to Jade.

After she picked up a bunch of those green balls she started walking around the house. She put three of the green tree balls – I’m sorry – hedge apples – on the ground in front of each window on the outside of what Mike calls his “man cave.” (I’ve heard other people call it a basement. I like “man cave” better.)

After Jade put three of my green balls under each window she brought a bunch of them in the house. I stayed outside and went back to the trees to make sure there were more balls left for me to use when I play fetch.

When I came back into the house I could smell green tree balls. I just thought it was because I had been outside with them. The next day, I realized the smell was coming from inside the house.

That is when I started looking.

And I started finding.

I kept finding my green tree balls in funny places all over the “man cave.” I realized that Jade had brought some of those balls into the house so I wouldn’t have to go outside to get one before Mike and I played fetch.

What I don’t understand though is why she put them in places that are so hard to get to. I had to move all kinds of things to get to those balls. I almost got stuck a couple of times trying to get to one.

So far, I have used nine of the balls Jade brought into the house and I know where two others are. One I am saving for the next time we play. The other I haven’t figured out how to get.

And, when I use all the balls Jade brought in to the house, I still have most of the ones she put outside the windows. I have to admit I have used three or four of those so far.

I am beginning to understand why Mike calls it “hide and seek.” I think the game is that Jade puts the tree balls where they are hard to find and harder to get so that I have something fun to do when I am in the house.

While I understand this, it doesn’t make any sense why she put the tree balls under the windows. If she just left them on the ground by the trees, I could get them from there.

And, I still don’t understand how using these tree balls has anything to do with “taking care” of spiders.

First, why take care of spiders if Mike doesn’t like them?

Second, my green tree balls, or hedge apples as Kelly and Jade call them, are big and heavy. I have never seen a spider big enough or strong enough to pick one of those balls up – let alone play fetch with it.


While I am writing this week, I do have an apology to make. Last year about this time I told you I had recruited a stealth air force to protect my property and to help me if I decided to start my own country.

My stealth air force consisted of three Black Vultures that flew up from Texas to talk with me. They told me if I needed them they had a lot of friends in Texas that would be willing to join the stealth air force.

After thinking about it, I decided not to start my own country so I don’t need an air force. I guess my three friends didn’t get the message – or they don’t care.

Last week when I was riding in the truck with Mike, I saw about a hundred Black Vultures in a field next to the road. I learned that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of Black Vultures in the Tri-State area now.

I hope they didn’t all come up here to join my stealth air force – especially since I don’t need one now.

Besides, I still have my three stealth friends. They didn’t move back to Texas like I thought they would. I think they live on top of our house. I don’t think Jade appreciates them much. She keeps telling me she sees foot tracks on the skylight window over her bathroom,

Then she showed me a picture of one of them standing on the skylight – looking in at her.

She didn’t like that.

I have tried to tell them that I don’t need an air force anymore and that they need to take their friends and go back to Texas.

They won’t listen to me.

I just hope they don’t’ bring the rest of their friends to our house. I don’t Jade would like that either.

And, if she gets too upset with them, she might stop playing “hide and seek” with me. I wouldn’t like that.

– Shadow