A Stones Throw 1-3-13

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Hi. Shadow here.

Once again, I am confused. I guess that comes with the territory when you are a dog. Anyway, last week I kept hearing Mike and Jade talk about “next year.” I know Mike is always talking about “next” year when he talks about the Cubs, but then I started hearing Jade talk about “next” year. I got interested.

So, Monday night I stayed awake watching television, waiting on “next” year. I thought surely this was an important event. Then again, both Mike and Jade were asleep long before the “next” year event was supposed to happen.

But not me. I lay in front of the television listening to the people Mike calls talking heads. They kept talking about “next” year’s economy – “next” year’s weather, and on and on. They also talked about a countdown to “next” year.

I didn’t know if I should wake Mike up, I didn’t think he would want to miss this great event. On the other hand, I decided if I watched the event I could tell Mike about it “tomorrow.”

That is where things really got confusing.

First, I watched a bunch of people yelling and screaming at a big ball that seemed to be falling off of a building. I couldn’t really tell if they were happy to see it fall, or scared that it was falling.

Whichever was the case, I think the falling ball killed “next” year.

Once the ball hit the ground, the talking heads started talking about what was going to happen “this” year. They never mentioned “next” year again – only this year.

I wanted to tell Mike about it. Then I realized I planned on talking to him “tomorrow” – not today.

As I thought about it, I decided that “wait until next year” was never going to happen – unless someone can keep that big ball from falling. Otherwise, this year just becomes another this year

And tomorrow never comes either. Instead today becomes another today.

And, the day after tomorrow can’t happen until tomorrow happens.

So, why even have these words in the human language?

Thinking about “next” and “tomorrow” made me think about other words I hear people saying that make no sense to me.

For instance, I understand Mother and Father. I miss my mother – never knew my father – Mike adopted me when I was very young. Still, I would call them Mother and Father if I saw them again.

Not people. People seem to use a lot of abbreviations. They call Mother “Mom” and Father “Dad.”

Why?

If Mom is short for Mother, shouldn’t “Fam” be short for Father?

On the other hand, Mike often calls me “Shad.” I understand this; “Shad” is short for Shadow. With this in mind, shouldn’t “Moth” be short for Mother and “Fat” be short for father?

I can see where Jade might not like to be called “Moth.” I have seen ugly bugs flying around that Mike says are moths. They sure don’t look like Jade – or any other mother I have seen.

At the same time, “Fat” fits Mike perfectly. I really don’t see why he would be upset if someone called him that – especially since it is short for Father. (I am trying to figure out a safe way to ask him if he is okay with being called “Fat.”)

Come to think of it, Mike calls me whatever comes to mind. Sometimes I don’t think he remembers my name. He calls me Shadow and Shad. I understand both. But then, he calls me “bud,” “Big Guy,” and “Big Boy.”

What is really confusing to me, Mike calls Thunder “Big Guy” and “Big Boy.” It gets confusing. (Mike calls Thunder other names, but only when he is picking on me. I can’t repeat most of those names since this is a family newspaper.)

I really don’t care what Mike calls me – as long as he calls me. I like it when he gets up to play fetch with me. I used to like it when he would tell me he would play with me “later.” Now I realize “later” is the same as “next” year and “tomorrow.”

It is always “now,” “today,” and “this year.” Later is always later. Tomorrow is always tomorrow. Next year is always next year.

From now on I will press him to play “now.” I won’t wait until “later” – or “tomorrow.”

I kind of feel sorry for Mike though – I know he is still waiting for “next” year for the Cubs. Face it – “next” year is not going to happen for anyone.

Unfortunately “this” year isn’t going to happen for the Cubs either.

Sorry Mike – let’s play ball – now – Shadow style.

– Shadow